the new year is here

Wow, that title rhymes!! Aren’t I clever?


I am going to sit down and write something about the new year. I haven’t been posting much lately, and I keep getting mad at myself about it. I have to stay faithful. Maybe I’ll be famous one day (Ha!). But I’ll never be famous for blogging, any day, if I never post new stuff.

I went to a crazy awesome New Year’s party at my friend’s house. I stayed up until around 2:30 before hitting the sleeping bag. Stupidly, I slept in the middle of the hallway, where all noise from the party animals was at its loudest. I didn’t sleep well. I must have slept some, but I woke up at least ten times. After getting myself pretty pissed, at six in the morning I took my stuff downstairs where nobody was.

I hadn’t thought of this before because when I first went to sleep, there were several people downstairs having a deep conversation about life, and I didn’t want to interrupt them by sleeping.

Anyway, that’s sort of beside the point.

Right after 2011, I was sitting in the hallway and kind of tripping out about the fact that 2012 is over. Not really in a good way, either. So dang much happened to me in the past nine months – the past year – 2011 – that I find it hard to believe that it’s all over.

It isn’t really over, of course. Technically. But according to calendar and math, 2011 is GONE. All my memories are still intact, yet just because the date now ends with a 2, I feel like I have to move on to a new me. A new age. A new lifetime. I feel like I have to leave 2011 behind.

And you know what?

That really freaks me out.

I am not even kidding.

I struggle with letting things go. And I already miss 2011. Last summer was the happiest time of my life. And pretty soon, summer is going to swing by again. And years will go by, and I will not ever be able to say “last summer” again. I will have to say “the other summer” or “two summers ago” and after that I’ll have to say “when I was thirteen.”

Pretty soon I won’t be thirteen anymore. I’ll be fourteen.

How freaky is that?

2011 is over. 2011 is gone.

I want to let go of it.

But the idea of letting it go sounds so scary to me. How is it 2012 already…? WHY is it 2012 already—-?!

Anyway, I don’t mean to be a downer of your new year.

I’m just expressing my thoughts toward New Year’s.

New Year’s is NOT a good holiday for me. In fact, it’s a bit of a depressing holiday for me. I don’t like to move on and I really don’t like to leave things behind.

It’s 2012.

Does that scare you or WHAT?




Pictures courtesy and


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