a baffling thought

 

Something has

been on my mind…

 

one of those things

I wish I could block out

of my memory

 

one of those things

that confuses me

one of those things

I wonder why

I ever think about at all

 

one of those things

I think about all the time

 

one of those things

I know I shouldn’t think about

 

…but I’m afraid to give it up.

 

~Emilino

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Secrets

First of all, I want to apologize for taking so DANG long to post something new.

I know I’ve got a lot of followers, and you guys are counting on me, and my friends keep emailing me and posting comments telling me to post something new.  Sorry.  Sincerely, I am.  I’m gonna try to frequently post stuff.  It’s been REALLY hard, what with a whole family issue that’s going on, and my dad found something bad on a WordPress site and started up a whole argument (jeez, WHY do people have to post bad stuff online anyway?!  Ugh).

So, anyway, here’s an excerpt from a pretty awesome story I’m writing (not named yet).  It turned out pretty interesting, so here it is:

The thing about secrets is that one secret, especially a big one, affects everything.

And if it’s related to a topic everybody likes to talk about, you’re put in an awkward situation in which you have to pretend you’re sleeping, or zoning out, or listening to music, in order to avoid the conversation.

Or if it’s a topic people like to joke about, your heart breaks a little every time they joke.  And you wish you could scream at them that they’ve no clue what they’re saying, but you can’t.  Because that would blow your cover.

It gets especially bad when somebody asks you a direct question about it — serious or not.

That’s when you have to lie.

Again.

And again.

Your lies become a whole network, a web, that traps you.  And it makes you a liar.  Even if you’re the only one who knows.  You’re still a liar.  And that turns into yet another reason you could never tell anybody your secret.  If you did, they would know you were a liar.  And even if you knew they would probably understand why you lied, they still wouldn’t trust you.  Not completely.

And so your web of lies grows ever stronger.

And no one knows.

Just you.

Just you.

~Emilino

Picture courtesy myinnergoddess.blogspot.com

The pose poem

This world can get pretty heavy

Stop taking it so seriously

Allow yourself some energy

That serious face is killing me

 

Strike a magnificent pose

Be a hero, just for now

Momentarily shrug off

That crappy mask of woe

 

I wonder what would happen

If we were to stop being trapped in

This world of overachievers

This world of Justin Biebers

 

Strike an epic pose

As you look off into the sunset

Admire your silhouette

The tallness of your shadow

 

Prince Charming, Mr. Incredible

Syndrome, whoever you may want

Oh, thats a good one

Let me take a picture

(Took that picture of my good guy friends last Friday.  Zoom in for the full effect.  Man, if you don’t know them, are YOU missing out on life!!  [That’s an ode to you, Jesse])

~Emilino

I never thought it was possible

How is it possible

For someone to love me this much?

 

Just me

In my lazy swivel computer chair

Procrastinating

Because I can

 

Me

And my dreams

And my blog

And my infatuation

 

I’m always forgetting

Again and again

How much I’m loved

 

Just me

The one off in space

Fantasizing

I do that too much

 

You’re more brilliant than me

Than I ever hope to be

How do I matter to you

This much?

It’s just me

Day by day

 

Saying

Don’t forget me

Well

I’m certainly not forgotten

Thank you

Thank you so much

 

Emilino

Pictures courtesy dezeen.com and indiatalkies.com

I want you to know

My best friend

My closest friend

I tell you everything

You always listen

 

In a storm

I always think of you

You’re always saying

How much you love me

I should say it more

 

I love you, I love you

I tell you everything

You know me

Better than anyone

 

It’s easy to talk to you

To tell you everything

You already know

So much, I don’t

Have to worry

What you think of me

 

You’re always there

You want to be

There for me

And it breaks my heart

You know

 

You love me so much

You’re so caring

I wish I could be

What you are to me

 

You’re my role-model

You’re brilliant

You’re amazing

You’re the best friend

I could ever hope for

 

It breaks my heart

Because I never tell you

Enough of how

Much I love you

 

How much you mean

How valuable you are

Maybe you already know

But sometimes

That’s not how it feels

 

You’re my shoulder to cry on

You’re amazing

I can’t believe

I mean so much to you

 

It’s impossible

How kind you are

I want to be

A friend like you

 

I love you so much

And I’d waste away

Without you

You know me better

Than my own mother

 

You know me better

Than R

Than MM

You know how I feel

About everything

 

Don’t ever go away

I’d miss you too much

I’d miss you more

Than I miss R

 

I’d miss you more

Than you can ever

Possibly know

I love you.

 

Emilino

Pictures mine.