Trying

I’m trying to help you

I’m trying, I’m trying

Quit pushing me away

I love you, I do

You’re my friend

My friend

Don’t you see

It’s not me, it’s you

It’s you, it’s all you

Don’t go at it like that

Stop it, stop it

I wanted to stay

I would have stayed

You’re broken

In pieces, pieces

Stop throwing it at me

I’m trying

…I’m trying

To warn you

You’re not listening

And you’re sobbing

You’re broken

I want to fix you

I can’t, I can’t

Don’t know how

Here you are

I’m trying

I can’t

Look what you’ve done

To me

Is this what I get

For trying, for trying

Stop putting it on me

Can’t handle it

You need me

Don’t do this

Don’t

DON’T!

You’re blind!

You’re pathetic!

You’re weak!

I’m sorry!

I tried!

I tried

I’m trying

Still trying

I tried

You

didn”t

let

me

And this

This is what I get

A scar, a scar

Can you see it

Can you see

What I tried to do

For you

What you did to me

I’m sorry

I’m sorry, so sorry

For what you’ve become

I can’t handle you

Right now

I’m walking away

Running

Away

From you

I…

…tried…

 

~Emilino

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I prayed that I would let you go

 

I wondered what life would be like

If you were to disappear

Wondered if I would feel the ache

What I would become without you near

 

And when you really did leave

Thinking of you was agony

I prayed that I would let you go

I loved you, and I know you know

 

Sometimes I wish I’d never known you

But I know everything you did for me

Yourself aside, and you helped me to see

All I thought, before you, wasn’t true

 

You came, and showed me how to live

And I followed you like a puppy

And then you left, and with you my heart

Still following you like a puppy

 

I prayed that I would let you go

Because it hurt to think of you

You gave me my greatest happiness

But after it came my sorrow

 

I loved you, I still love you

I’ll always love you, and never forget you

You taught me not to take for granted

Phases, like yours, that will pass

 

I prayed that I would let you go

I missed you, I missed you, I loved you

And again and again, more and more

Even after you’d gone, and yet –

 

I prayed that I would let you go

Because it hurt to think of you

I never thought my prayer would come true

And now it hurts that I’m letting you go.

 

 

Emilino

Pictures courtesy nuruladleen.blogspot.com and themescompany.com

Daydreaming

Daydreaming is a strange thing.  In hard situations, a daydream can come as an odd comfort.  To imagine a better scene, in a better place, is painful as well as strangely peaceful.

In an imaginary scene, I can control what happens.  I can’t exactly do this in real life.  And while I am bold in my fantasies, and fearless, in real life I am anything but.  In a daydream, I say the right thing, look the right way, know what to do and do not hesitate to do it.  I wish I were like that in real life.  A daydream is predictable.  It’s like a story, written in my mind.  Real life is unpredictable.  I worry too much for my daydreams to come alive.

Because of that, though, daydreams can be discouraging.  I can be completely caught up in my perfect world, where everything is at its finest at my command; yet as soon as I snap out of it, reality kicks in and I know my life can never be so ideal.

I wonder if there is any long-term benefit from a daydreamt fantasy.  It’s not as if I’ll suddenly become beautiful, with clear skin and nonfrizzy hair, if I daydream it long enough.  Pigs won’t fly, no matter how long I envision myself riding one.

And no, sorry to break it to you, Emilino, but just because you pictured it for so long does NOT mean he is going to kiss you.  Or even hold your hand.

But really, IS there any good that comes from a daydream?  How about this — you picture yourself walking through school.  You see a girl who is sitting alone.  Great, ’cause you’re used to sitting alone as well.  You approach her, and get a conversation going.  You’ve replayed the words you’ll start it with in your head.

And suppose the next week, this really DOES happen.  Maybe not exactly as you’d planned, but because you’d daydreamed this, you knew good might come of it, and so you give it a try.  And it works.

Can that happen?  Has that happened to you?

I sure can’t think of any such personal occurrance.

But I still wonder.

Can daydreams come true?

 

Emilino

Pictures courtesy:

cosmosmagazine.com

brainbasedbusiness.com

selmainthecity.wordpress.com