Choice

There was a moment
Burned into my heart
Took me over by force
Left me begging for more

Took my hands and
Looked me in the eye
I couldn’t stand a chance
Just fell headfirst

In those eyes
I see fury and compassion
Pride and humility
And just a tinge of sadness

What can I do?
Can I even help myself?
Don’t know me anymore
And no one else does

It’s tearing me to pieces
Ripping up my heart
Getting mixed messages
Don’t know where to start

I’m a stranger
Where I used to be at home
I’m a criminal
Where I used to be pure

I know where I’m accepted
But that’s not where I should be
I know what I should choose
But I wish I could choose both

Why did this
Happen to me?
Why is it so
Wrong to you?

I miss my home I
wish I could go back
But I can’t
Not while I’m like this

Just because of this thing
Everyone could leave me
Sometimes it feels like God Himself
Has turned His face from me

This feels a lot like true love
But I’ve been raised to know it’s not
Maybe I would follow my heart,
but it’s “Deceitful above all things”

I’ve been rendered helpless
Completely defenseless
When I’m around my love
I can’t even think straight

My heart is torn
Between two loves
Am I doomed to give one up
In order to pursue the other?

Lost and Confused Signpost

~Emilino

Face of Boe

So I wrote this sonnet about Captain Jack Harkness for an English assignment and I quite like it. How can you go wrong with a poem about Doctor Who anyway? Well here you go.

I have what most men only dream to have,
Striving to achieve what they must not own.
Like petty fangirls, they obsess and crave,
Desire carved into human hearts of stone.
Where is the Doctor? He’s avoiding me
And doesn’t see how I need him to try.
The last Lord of Time, oh, doesn’t he see
When I am alone, how I long to cry?
Back then, she brought me, from death, back to life.
What lies in the darkness beyond this light?
She has spared me from fear of any knife
And I know the answer to man’s endless plight.
But I alone live as all others die,
So no one is there to watch as I cry.

~Emilino

My name is…

I am Emily.

Emily McClelland

That is my name.

Is it who I am?

Or just merely my name?

The title by which I am called?

Am I Emily,

or is Emily me?

If my name was Susan,

would I be Susan,

or would I be Emily?

Would I look like a Susan

or would I look like an Emily?

You would know me as Susan.

You would be used to

calling me Susan.

Perhaps, then, I would

look like a Susan.

Am I Susan?

Am I Emily?

Am I Emilino?

Or Emloile?

Emilino Emloile?

“Who am I?”
Well, what do you mean by that?

Are you asking my name?

Or do you really want to know

who I am?

 

I am not Emily.

I am not Susan.

I am not Emilino.

I am me.

 

In a world without any names

would everyone have

to know each other better?

Hello_my_name_is_sticker_by_trexweb1

 

~Emilino

Picture taken from here.

Trying

I’m trying to help you

I’m trying, I’m trying

Quit pushing me away

I love you, I do

You’re my friend

My friend

Don’t you see

It’s not me, it’s you

It’s you, it’s all you

Don’t go at it like that

Stop it, stop it

I wanted to stay

I would have stayed

You’re broken

In pieces, pieces

Stop throwing it at me

I’m trying

…I’m trying

To warn you

You’re not listening

And you’re sobbing

You’re broken

I want to fix you

I can’t, I can’t

Don’t know how

Here you are

I’m trying

I can’t

Look what you’ve done

To me

Is this what I get

For trying, for trying

Stop putting it on me

Can’t handle it

You need me

Don’t do this

Don’t

DON’T!

You’re blind!

You’re pathetic!

You’re weak!

I’m sorry!

I tried!

I tried

I’m trying

Still trying

I tried

You

didn”t

let

me

And this

This is what I get

A scar, a scar

Can you see it

Can you see

What I tried to do

For you

What you did to me

I’m sorry

I’m sorry, so sorry

For what you’ve become

I can’t handle you

Right now

I’m walking away

Running

Away

From you

I…

…tried…

 

~Emilino

The pose poem

This world can get pretty heavy

Stop taking it so seriously

Allow yourself some energy

That serious face is killing me

 

Strike a magnificent pose

Be a hero, just for now

Momentarily shrug off

That crappy mask of woe

 

I wonder what would happen

If we were to stop being trapped in

This world of overachievers

This world of Justin Biebers

 

Strike an epic pose

As you look off into the sunset

Admire your silhouette

The tallness of your shadow

 

Prince Charming, Mr. Incredible

Syndrome, whoever you may want

Oh, thats a good one

Let me take a picture

(Took that picture of my good guy friends last Friday.  Zoom in for the full effect.  Man, if you don’t know them, are YOU missing out on life!!  [That’s an ode to you, Jesse])

~Emilino