God

There was a moment
Burned into my heart
Took me over by force
Left me begging for more

Took my hands and
Looked me in the eye
I couldn’t stand a chance
Just fell headfirst

In those eyes
I see fury and compassion
Pride and humility
And just a tinge of sadness

What can I do?
Can I even help myself?
Don’t know me anymore
And no one else does

It’s tearing me to pieces
Ripping up my heart
Getting mixed messages
Don’t know where to start

I’m a stranger
Where I used to be at home
I’m a criminal
Where I used to be pure

I know where I’m accepted
But that’s not where I should be
I know what I should choose
But I wish I could choose both

Why did this
Happen to me?
Why is it so
Wrong to you?

I miss my home I
wish I could go back
But I can’t
Not while I’m like this

Just because of this thing
Everyone could leave me
Sometimes it feels like God Himself
Has turned His face from me

This feels a lot like true love
But I’ve been raised to know it’s not
Maybe I would follow my heart,
but it’s “Deceitful above all things”

I’ve been rendered helpless
Completely defenseless
When I’m around my love
I can’t even think straight

My heart is torn
Between two loves
Am I doomed to give one up
In order to pursue the other?

~Emilino

Spelling Hearts